What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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