do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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