Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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