its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
