I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
