i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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