when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
not ubering you a puppy
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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