Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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