Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
this is an emotional support booty call
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
