i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
