well most of my day revolves around power hour
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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