I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
