haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
