i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Randomize
