Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
