Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
