I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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