just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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