I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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