I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
