Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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