She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize