If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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