worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
