i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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