Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
