Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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