I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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