Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
