Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
