Dude my mom stole all your condoms
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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