What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
