i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
