Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
