3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
