And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
