You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
