there were more penises there than on chat roulette
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
