I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I am mentally ready for anal.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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