they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
