holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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