I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
