You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Operation Purity has been aborted
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
