I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
