mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
