I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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