i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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