I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
