I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
