btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do vagina's smell?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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