just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize