The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
