I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
