corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
