i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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