A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
