no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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