Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
