Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
