oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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