I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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