I hate your face
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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