call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
