a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
