With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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